Minion Central

I love Wonder Woman.

Last year when I decided to get back into comics, it was Wonder Woman who got me to make that choice. The Wonder Woman 600 storyline by J. Michael Sraczynski was a brilliant way to let new readers in without to much muss or fuss. The art by Don Krmer, Michael Babinski & Alex Sinclair is amazing. Looking back at the reviews, apparently people did’t like the new outfit. I personally loved it. Look! Wonder Woman is wearing Pants!!!

And then as all things I love do, it ended.

I spent the last few issues of the run mourning it’s passing.

The only thing that kept me with a good outlook for the DCnU relaunch was all signs pointed to Wonder Woman continuing to wear pants. *Sorry, but I really dislike the star spangled granny panties.*

SPOILERS!

……..More

Wonder Woman issue #1 (previous write up can be found here):

It starts off with Apollo being wierd, slightly lecherous, and quite a bit creepy with three ‘bimbos’ on a balcony. Then you get to expierience someone in a peacock cloak behead a couple horses. Ok, this run is starting off quite dark. Then comes the very creepy people crawling out of where the horse heads used to be. I thought I was reading Wonder Woman, not Call of Cthulhu. Enter Hermes in his WWI helmet and Zola. She wants to shoot him for breaking into her house, he wants her to flee so she isn’t killed. Zola has spunk, I like her. Enter the newly formed Centaurs. Hermes gets shot and Zola is transported ino someone’s bedroom.

Based off the cover art I was not looking forward to the art of this book. After 4 issues, it has grown on me. But I’m still not in love with it. The story up until this point was very fragmented and a bit hard to care about. But then…

The “camera” pans around to the bed and anyone who has ever seen a representation of Wonder Woman knows whos sleeping in it. Silly Zola reaches for her and gets picked up by her neck for it. Zola, is a smart one. She knows this is Wonder Woman right off the bat. And as per preious continuity, Wonder Woman is bad at the whole secret identity thing. She intorduces herself as Diana, as she’s getting dressed.

Woo Hoo Pants…

Or not. Stupid star spangled panties. Other than that, here’s my impression of the new Woder Woman look. She isn’t overly busty, which for the upper body strength she is shown to have makes anatomical sense. Her waist isn’t barbie small. Plus she stands the way someone with her build and strength/muscles should. The accessories look good and make sense. I still think her arms could use a bit more muscle.

Zola and Diana are transported back to Zola’s place (Zola was supposed to stay behind, but you quickly get the impression she is a bit of a self sufficient rebel). Turns out the bracers repel arrows as well as bullets. Centaurs attack! Wonder Woman headbutts one, which is awesome. Creepy voice over starts. Centaurs are vanquished, and Hermes gets a giant arrow removed from his gut. He explains Zola is carrying Zeus’ kid, thus the wanting her dead thing. And back to creepy Apollo and his bimbos, who are now levitating and finishing the creepy dialogue. As the sun rises the three oracles are burned to death by the sun/Apollo.

This issue features Zola in a camisole, plaid shirt and pink undies with a shotgun several times. I love it. And she’s smart. When Hermes tells them it’s Zeus’ kid, she knows that’s bad.

Wonder Woman issue #2:

In issue #2 the 1st thing you learn is who wore the peacock cape in #1. Who else but Hera.

This is a woman who is vilified because she gets upset that her husband can’t keep it in his pants. Ok, killing people (that aren’t Zeus) may be a bit much. You meet her and her daughter. They seem completely self absorbed, petty and cruel; even to each other.

When asked where Zola is you are transported from Mount Olympus to Paradise Island. Here wonder Woman is carrying Hermes and insulting Zola’s home. And then you get creepy, angry voice over. Turns out the rest of the Amazons are not happy about a man on their island. Then you meet the queen.

No wonder Diana has such broad shoulders, you should see her mom’s. That is one beefy woman. I love it. This is a race of warrior women. They shouldn’t be all skinny and lanky.

You get a little scene of the Queen Mum and Diana chatting about her situation and who she should side with (hera or Zeus) and Diana siding with the girl caught in the middle. Next up is Zola chatting with Hermes.

Can I ask you something? When Zeus consorts with a woman other than his wife, he chooses a form that will inspire an uncontrollable lust in them. Do you remember what Zeus came to you as? -Hermes

A truck driver. Or a pool hustler. He coulda been in a band… I hope he was that guy… -Zola

Apparently, Zeus didn’t have to change his form too exotically to curry your favor. -Hermes

I like men, Hermes. And I’m not gonna apologize for that. -Zola

I love this bit. I love that Zola is completely unashamed of liking men and having sex. She is clearly comfortable in herself (or she probably would have found pants by now).

Hermes then tells her that’s fine, but she should keep that to herself on this island. Then you get Wonder Woman’s origin (read: birth) story. Built from clay and brought to life by the gods, the perfect Amazon. Cut to Diana being challenged to a spar with Aleka. Cue cool Amazon fight sequence, followed by rain, followed by an explosion. At this point the Amazons run off the defend their island. You see several get stabbed, and see Hera’s daughter wandering around. Wonder Woman realizes it’s a trick when Aleka tried to killer her. And we find out the daughter’s name. Strife.

Yup. Makes perfect sense. 

Out comes the lasso of truth and Strife says she is here to ‘embrace her little sister’. The prompts a ‘you think the mortal carries a girl’ from Wonder Woman. Strife says she has no idea what the mortal carries, but what she means is “No, Wonder Woman, I speak of you.”

That’s of course the end of issue #2. This is the point where I went, ‘OMG must read more’. Of course Strife is named that for a reason, so maybe she’s just messing with Diana, but either way the next issue is going to be interesting. A couple pages in this issue had really great art, and a couple really seemed like the artist was phoning it in. 

Wonder Woman issue #3:

Issue #3 begins with funeral pyres for all the dead Amazons. Then we travel backwards to building the pyres and Aleka saying this is all Clay’s fault for bringing the musk.

Translation: Diana’s fault for bringing a dude (god or not) to the island.

Strife uses this information to pick at Diana, when confronted by Hermes she adds fuel to the fire by saying her mother’s anger is like a child playing. This causes all in volved (Hermes, Diana, Zola) to get really upset. Things begin to escalate until the queen shows up with a contingent of Amazons. This is where we find that whatever it is that Strife knows is because Zeus told her while drunk.

Strife is well written and her facial expressions are great. You really want to punch her in the face. And really we’re trusting what a drunk god says now?

Now the queen comes clean. She recounts the story of her and Zeus, dancing, battling, making love. We pop back over to the rest of the amazons building the pyre again, and complaining of Diana’s split loyalty. It’s clear that many of them don’t much care for the perfect Amazon. And back to God on Amazon lovin’. And back top prayers before the pyres are lit and a bit of treasonous speech by Aleka.

This is six pages and it jumps between four locations/times. I had to read it twice because I kept feeling like I was missing something. Also who knew Zeus wore dreads. Aleka seems to be upset that Diana is back from he mortal realm and because of it brought death and such to the island. Brian Azarello seems to be taking much of our previous knowledge of Wonder Woman and saying, ‘nope, not that way now’. I really like that. I’m glad that I’m not reading the same story that’s been told 87-zillion times.

Now is where Diana finds out that she wasn’t made of clay, that she’s Zeus’ daughter and that her mother has been lying to her to keep her hidden from Hera. Diana is heartbroken and angry, she tells her mother that she now feels like a fool. Then she takes off running through the forest, knocking over trees in her path. She makes it to the beach and the pyres where Aleka calls out “There she is, sisters… The one that brought shame to our island”.

And she doesn’t even know about the whole birth thing.

Wonder Woman punches her in the face.

It’s awesome. With that much new information, hurt, anger, pain, frustration, and fear running through your system; punching out the bully is the first instinct a trained warrior should have. Sort of a “This is not the time, bitch.”

Wonder Woman finishes lighting the fires, explains that she is leaving and not coming back. One of the amazons calls to her ‘Diana’; and She tells her never to use that name again, or clay; because she is Wonder Woman.

This issue was a little ADD in the middle but it tells a very compelling story. One about strength, protecting your family and that you should never name your child Strife because she will grow up to be a total bitch.

Wonder Woman issue #4:

Issue #4 starts in Darfur with Apollo and his brother War (Ares by assumption). They are creepy. Then we switch to a metal/punk club in London.

Woo Hoo! Pants! Sure she isn’t in the full outfit, but it’s a step in the right direction. The leather vest is a nice addition to the angry punk look. Hermes in hiphop/gangbanger clothing is hysterical. Zola still has the camisole and plaid shirt on, but she has also found pants. Pants for everyone!

Strife is also still around and tried to get Diana to drink with her. She gives a little speech about family, it is fitting based on the screwed up family she comes from. Then we switch to Paradise Island and Hera showing up. The queen tells her guards not to follow because she should face Hera alone, with her giant battle axe. Then we’re back to the club and Strife complaining that Diana doesn’t like her, Hermes is reasonable at her and then Strife threatens to take the child (‘perhaps we should extract it’) from Zola. At this point Diana walks up, grabs her and puts a broken champagne flute through her hand.

Again I love this. I love Wonder Woman swooping in and being all Wonder Woman-y at problems.

Back on paradise Island the Queen is trying to reason with a very angry Hera.You see Hera angry and then hurting, a scorned wife and vulnerable woman. Then the warriors show up. As the wind picks up it’s a good thing Hera is holding the queen’s giant axe, because it conveniently covers up all of her naked bits.

Apparently she only wears the peacock cloak when she goes out for justice.

The queen begs forgiveness, the Amazon’s are poised to shoot the Goddess if she kills the queen. Hera raises the axe to strike. And stops.

I seriously thought this is where this issue was going to end. And I think this is where many writers would have stopped, but not Azzarello.

Back in London at wonder Woman’s place we see Zola coming in to talk. We get some back story on Zola’s family (dad in prison, dead mom). And we get Wonder Woman lamenting the loss of her family and home.

And then she’s back in the damned star spangled panties.

She trades her sword and shield for Hermes magic travel staff and ends up back on Paradise Island, which is very wet. You see some clothes floating sans people in the water. Then you hear hissing. Lots and lots of hissing. As we come to the area where Hera and the Queen had there little chat you see hundreds of snakes. Wonder Woman apologizes profusely to her mother, finally hugging her, or the statue that was her; surrounded by the snakes formerly known as Amazons.

This two page spread made me tear up, seriously. I think most of us have had those fights with our moms where we say things we should never say. We’re lucky, when we go back to apologize later mom hasn’t been turned to stone by an angry Greek Goddess.

We finish the issue off where we started, with Apollo and War in Darfur. They discuss Zeus being missing, that apparently he doesn’t currently exist.

I have some theory’s as to where this part of the story is going (Zola is carrying a reborn Zeus), but really it’s just a theory. Brian Azzarello is crafting a multifaceted story here and I don’t want to miss an issue. Like I said, the art is growing on me, and the compositions are great, but I wouldn’t cry if there was an artist change up down the road.

 

So that’s my review of issues #1-4 of the DCnU Wonder Woman.

Favorite things:

• Wonder Woman’s attitude

• page composition

• horror themes

• story depth

• character depth

Gripes:

• the art

• I have to wait a month between issues

• star spangled panties

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